


the heartbeat of stars

by westofmoon



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Mates, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Pining, Romance, Soulmates, sci-fi/space au, tw blood, tw death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24229045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westofmoon/pseuds/westofmoon
Summary: When her eyes fluttered open, the only thing she knew was  the cold...
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien & Rowan Whitethorn, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn, Rowaelin - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. falling

**Author's Note:**

> I'm only partially sorry for this...

She was running. 

Running, along precarious walkways suspended between the twisted black towers of the Nightengale compound, the tips of their pointed spires jutting into the diamond-flecked sky above like crudely-forged spears. 

Running like the Darkness herself was nipping at her heels. 

Faster. She had to move _faster_. She had to find _him_.

Exhaustion weighed heavily upon her, her battered body aching with each step she took, lungs burning with each breathe she sucked down between her teeth. But she shoved all of that to the back of her mind and willed her legs to _keep moving_. 

None of that was important. None of it mattered.

Ahead, an opening loomed in the side of the compound’s Central Tower, and without hesitation, she tore through the archway, racing down the maze of dark and twisting halls, letting the blaring alarms and flashing red warning lights act as a guide as she moved deeper and deeper into the compound in search of the reactor room. 

Where _he_ was supposed to be. 

She had to find him. Had to retrieve the Eye. And then they could get the hell out of this demon-riddled cesspit. That was the plan. 

Another door stood at the end of the long hall, its panels slowly sliding open at her approach. She didn’t bother to wait until they were fully parted, instead barreling towards them at full speed, half-flinging herself between the them to emerge on a small balcony overlooking a cavernous room below. 

She crossed the balcony in three quick bounds, stumbling into the unforgiving iron railing . The cold metal bit into her aching fingers, burning her skin like fire as she gripped the bars hard enough that her knuckles barked in protest. 

But she paid it sting of the iron no mind as her frantic eyes scanned the lower level, feeling as if she might vomit from how violently her heart was thundering against her ribcage. _Where was he? Where- There!_

A dark form moved through the thick clouds of smoke billowing through the doors on the lower deck, the imposing silhouette visible only thanks to the red lights pulsing about the rooms perimeter. Quickly he made his way towards the reactor, the tall, glowing cylinder of metal and glass and magic that stood in the center of the room.

As he emerged from the swirling wall of gray and black, and she got her first clear look at him, she nearly cried from relief. 

He looked rather rumbled; that silvery-white hair falling free of its usual half-up state and the reinforced gray and black bodysuit he wore was torn in a few spots, but she saw no telltale red stains. He stood tall, that powerful body as graceful as ever, broad shoulders unbowed. 

Okay. He was _okay_. She couldn’t help the small sob that bubbled up, working its way free of her chest then. He was safe. And whole. Unharmed. 

She watched as he sprinted up to the reactor and quickly began typing in the code to power it down so he could extract the Eye. But before he could make more than a few keystrokes a familiar noise rattled through the room, a sound that froze her in place, unable to move even a finger as fear flooded her body. She saw the man stiffen as it sounded again, that low, rumbling growl that seemed to be caught somewhere between a purr and a snarl, echoing from somewhere within that gray gloom.

Before she had a chance to cry out a warning, the man spun around to face the smoke, staring at something she couldn’t see. As if he had known exactly where it was. And then it appeared, emerging from the haze like a nightmare. 

The Ridderak, they called it. A creature crafted of dead stars and the cold darkness between realms. 

Let out a snarl that rattled the world, and then it lunged for him. But the man didn’t balk, instead he lifted a tattooed hand before him, and like a bug being swatted out of the sky, the Ridderak was flung across the room on a blast of icy wind. Its spindly body crashed into a control panel by the far door, the metal crunching beneath it’s weight, sending a shower of sparks flying into the air as buttons and wires short-circuited. 

While the beast was addled from the impact, the man quickly turned back to the reactor and resumed tapping away at the keyboard. They had to retrieve the Eye, that was the mission. 

But the Ridderak was not as disoriented as it had appeared, as it had _wanted_ him to believe. Silent as death, it rose from that ruined hunk of metal, its lips pulling back in a horrifying grin that bared its black, needle-teeth as it lowered into a crouch, preparing to spring upon his unprotected back… 

Unprotected, because she was too far away from him. Because no matter how she tried, she was unable to move. Her drained limbs now refused to cooperate and the fire in her veins had been reduced to embers. She was completely unable to get to him, to help. To protect him as he had always protected her.

She cried out in frustration. It might have been a word, or a curse, might have been his name. It sounded more like a desperate, heartbroken plea. 

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as that word left her lips and the man went still. Completely, utterly, inhumanly still. And then he was turning … Not towards the Ridderak, but towards _her_.

No

_No no no no no_

He lifted his gaze to where she stood on the upper landing, and those pine green eyes widened in alarm as he they fell upon her. His tanned face seemed to pale, drawing her attention to a streak of blood smeared down the left side of his face, partially obscuring the swirling black tattoo inked on his flesh. 

She opened her mouth to scream again, just as his own lips parted; to say her name, to yell at her or bark an order, she didn’t know.

She would never know. 

Before the words even had a chance to form on his tongue, they were cut off, morphing into a bellow of pain as the Ridderak struck. Those dagger-like claws slashing across his back. 

They ripped through reinforced leather armor of his suit. Through flesh and bone. 

And pain, the likes of which she had never known before, lashed through her body. Not her own pain, but _his_. 

Like the sharpest of knives being driven deep into her back and raking downdown _down_ … And a metallic tang coated her tongue as she bit back the scream that tried to claw its way up her throat. 

It was blinding. It was maddening. It threatened to send her tumbling into oblivion as darkness formed around the edges of her vision as her every sense narrowed down to it. Threatened to send her crashing to her knees if not for the vice-like grip she had on the railing. 

Through the haze of pain, she watched him fall. And despite the distance between them, she felt the impact of his body crashing into the floor. Felt the echo of it reverberate through her bones. 

Frozen, she watched as his lifeblood gushed from the gaping wounds in his back, watched as red stained his silver-white hair and soak the gray material of his uniform. Watched as it spread slowly across the floor beneath his prone form, seeping through the tiny holes in the metalwork to drip like a red rain into the darkness below. 

And then the Ridderak was upon him again, those black fangs going for his neck… 

She felt that too. Like a thousand needles piercing her skin, like they were shredding her own throat. 

This time, where the scream arose, she didn’t fight it. Instead she let it out. Let that inhuman sound ripple past her lips to fill the room, the world, the universe. 

Because this time it had nothing to do with the physical pain she was feeling.

No, that was secondary to the vital, intrinsic thing that was writhing, _dying_ , within her own chest. Like a thread, a lifeline, that had once been glowing with warmth that was suddenly being severed, leaving only a hollow, deafening quiet in its wake. Leaving her feeling empty and cold…


	2. waking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you that wasn’t all of it… as per usual, sorry if this sucks. your welcome for a whole lot of nothing you didn't ask for :)
> 
> Warnings: blood. needles. (sorry, I made myself queasy writing it)

… cold. 

Everything was cold. The air, the world… And it was the cold that woke her. Biting into her skin and seeping into her bones, ripping her from the warm embrace of slumber. 

Her eyes slowly fluttered open, lids as heavy as millstones as they fought to rise. She felt as if she had been asleep for eons. When finally they cracked open, she found herself blinking back against a blue light that burned her sensitive eyes. 

Groaning softly, she squinted into the glow, her bleary gaze slowly focusing on a curving, fuzzy wall of white mere inches from her face. 

After a moment she slowly managed to coax her right hand into rising from where it lay limp at her side, reaching across the narrow space before her to brush her fingers over the white fluff. It was cold and crunched beneath her touch, small flecks like crystals crumbling away beneath her nails. 

Frost. That was _frost_. And beneath the frost, visible now where her fingernails had grazed over it… a shining, translucent surface. Glass.

“Oh.” The sound was little more than a breath misting into the air before her nose. 

Her fumbling fingers attempted to quickly scrub away more, sending a shower of glimmering flakes fluttering onto her legs, until she had cleared off a small space to see though. Leaning forward slightly, she peered through the little opening but was unable to make out much of anything in the darkened space beyond, other than that it was dimly lit, gray… and empty. 

There was no one out there to let her out of this… thing, whatever it was. 

Resting a palm against the curving glass, she glanced down at her feet, absently noting that she was clad only in a thin shift, before tilting her head back to look above her head. She was in some sort of container, tall and narrow and cylindrical; like a tube.

Something cold and oily began to pool in her gut, colder than the air inside the tube, and her heart gave a painful thump against her ribs. 

Doing her best to ignore the rising panic creeping up her spine, she lifted her other arm to brace against the curved surface beside her and felt a sharp _pinch_ in the crease of her elbow. 

Wincing, she glanced down at her arm and found a long strand of small tubes, twisting and twining together until they merged into a single needle that fed into her arm. Pumping gods knew _what_ into her body. A wave of queasiness washed over her at the thought.

A few inches below the needle, on the inside of her wrist, was a small square patch, several hair-fine wires attached to the back of it. 

Clenching her teeth against the roiling nausea, she reached down with her right hand and carefully pulled the needle out of her arm. Blood welled where the needle had pierced her skin, trickling slowly down her forearm. It froze in place a hairsbreadth from the patch on her wrist, turning into a shining pearl of red ice on her skin. 

Somewhere above her head, some piece of machinery began to beep. A quite, steady _bip… bip… bip._

Tuning out the noise and willing the wave of dizziness that caused her vision to spin to settle, she set about peeling off the patch. Her skin burned in its wake, as dozens of little thorn-like barbs were ripped from her skin, leaving just as many tiny red dots behind on her wrist. 

She tossed the connection aside and shifted her attention back to the more pressing issue. How was she going to get out of this… thing?

With trembling hands, she began searching the inside of the tube, her fingers probing for any groove or dip in the glass and metal hidden beneath the thick blanket of frost. There had to be a latch somewhere. A lock or a hinge that she could follow in a door or a lid. Something. _Anything_. 

Yet she found nothing at all.

She leaned forward again to look though the cleared patch on the window, which was already beginning to frost over again, she thumped her hand against the glass. “He- hello?” she called out hoarsely. The word was a weak, broken thing, more air than sound. 

If anyone was out there, they would never be able to hear- 

If… _If_ someone was there. But what if there wasn’t? If no one was here to let her out, she would- 

She couldn’t finish the thought as panic seized her again, like a flood roaring through her veins and out each limb. 

How was she going to get _out_? 

Her breath came quicker; sharp, shallow rasps that hung in the air like clouds as she placed both of her hands against the icy glass and pushed. 

Nothing moved, nothing gave. Not even in the slightest.

No… _No_! Bracing her back against the surface behind her, she tried again. Tried _harder_. Drawing upon every ounce of strength that she could find in her tired, aching body, she strained against the glass. 

“ _Gyaha_ ,” she gasped sharply though her teeth as pain erupted through her arm, like someone had driven the blade of knife into her elbow. Right where the needle had been. Something warm and wet began trickling across her skin again and she didn’t have to open her eyes to know that it was blood. 

She ignored it. Ignored the blood and the stabbing pain and just _kept pushing._

_clink crk_

_clinkclink_

Her eyes snapped open at the sound, and she saw that the frost coating the window was melting, condensation instantly turning to steam with the low hiss of water in heat. 

And in fact, the very glass beneath her hands almost felt… warm?

_crackle clink_

She saw them then, spreading out from beneath her palms. Cracks. Spiderwebbing through the glass as its surface grew warmer. And warmer. And then _hot_.

_clinkclink crackle clink clink_

The glass splintered. And the low _bip_ ing that had first begun when she removed the IV rose to a shrill cry of alarm, the blue light surrounding her shifting to a bright, eerie red that flashed in time with each loud trill. Steam began filling the tube, hanging so thick in the air that she could hardly see past the end of her nose. 

But then, for a heartbeat, the world turned green. 

There was a faint _click_ somewhere to her right, followed by a loud hiss and then warmth, blessed warmth, flooded the tube, rushing in around her legs as the steam grew even thicker. And then she was falling, spilling out of the tube as the front panel swung away. 

She landed in a heap, the impact jarring her chilled bones and drawing a pained cry from her lips. 

For several long moments, she could do nothing but lie there, unable to move as the pain and the cold wracked her body. But slowly, almost reluctantly, it began to relinquish its hold. 

With wobbly arms, she managed to push herself up off of the floor. Brushing the long curtain of hair from her eyes, she finally took in her surroundings.

Everything was dark, gray and dimly lit. To her left loomed a control panel. The large hunk of metal took up most of the wall, tiny lights and buttons blinking rhythmically across its surface. Numbers and images that made no sense whirred across the screens hovering over it. Before it sat an empty chair that faced the door in the far corner; as if whomever had vacated it had left in a hurry. 

But the rest of the room… The rest of the room was filled entirely with familiar, tall, narrow cylinders. 

They lined the three remaining walls of the long rectangular space, emerging from the floor and vanishing into the ceiling like so many mechanical pipes. The curved pane of glass set in the front of each one offered an unobstructed view of their empty interiors. 

Containment tubes. Just like the one that she had escaped from only moments ago. The red light shining from inside her tube gleamed ominously on all of their pristine, unbroken surfaces. 

A shiver of unease raced down the back of her neck, slithering along her spine. Gods, what _was_ this place? And why was she here? Why had she been locked away inside of that tube? The last thing that she could remember was- Was… 

Nothing. She could remember nothing at all. Everything… All of it was blank. As dark and empty as the inside of all of those tubes. 

She didn’t even know her own name. 

That feeling of unease shifted, becoming something deeper and colder. The weight of it settled within her chest and made it difficult to breathe. 

She closed her eyes, trying desperately to hold back the wave of panic that was threatening to swallow her whole. Because she knew that if she let it, it would overwhelm her, pull her down into a dark, cold place that she would never be able to crawl out of again. She lie here on this floor until she wasted away. 

Or worse… until someone came along and found her. Like whomever had locked her inside of that tube in the first place.

So she sucked down several slow deliberate breathes between her teeth, willing her racing heart to calm, and shoved those feelings back, _downdowndown_ into that dark, hollow place and locked them away. After a heartbeat, that pressure in her chest began to ebb, and she opened her eyes. She didn’t look at the tubes again, instead shifting her attention to the door. 

She needed to get out of this room. Needed to figure out where she was, and get as far away from this place as quickly as possible. But getting to her feet might pose a bit of a challenge, given how weak her limbs still were.

As she moved to brace her hands on the floor, she noticed that her arm had begun to bleed again. With only the gown she wore at her disposal, she grabbed the hem and, using her teeth and hands, ripped off a strip of fabric. The thin cotton shredded like paper. Carefully, she wrapped the length of it around her arm and tied it, hoping that would staunch the blood.

Taking another deep breath to steel herself, she tried again. Shifting her weight until she was on her hands and knees. 

One small victory on the way to getting to her feet. 

It took more than a few tries, and quite a bit of frustration, but she finally managed to get to her feet, her body swaying unsteadily. Not wanting to fall flat on her face again and undo all of that hard work, she took her time crossing walking, staggering across the room on shaky legs. 

The door opened at her approach, the solid metal panels parting with a huffed _woosh_ and she stepped out into the long, empty hallway. 

It was much the same out here as it had been in the room. Dark and empty. The gray metallic walls and floor gleaming in the sparse dim lights spaced evenly along the ceiling. 

For several tense heartbeats she stood there in silence, waiting. Listening for any sign that someone might be approaching from either of the long corridors. Surely if anyone was there, they would have been alerted to her setting off the alarm inside of her tube and be on their way to investigate. 

But the halls remained empty. Unnervingly, eerily quiet. 

Despite herself, she felt her heart begin to beat a little faster. 

As she gazed down the hall snaking off to her right, she could have sworn that the shadows in the distance almost seemed to grow darker. As they were leaching the dim light illuminating the hallway out of the very air. 

For some reason, it set her senses on edge, her skin prickling. Wrong. Something about that darkness felt… wrong. Off. Unnatural. 

But then, as if in response to that trickle of fear, she felt a strange, almost familiar warmth bloom in her chest, curling behind her ribs. Like something tugging at her. A string pulled taut. _This way, this way_ , it seemed to say into her mind. Urging her away from that darkness, to go _left_.

Not needing to be convinced, she heeded that pull, setting off down the corridor to her left as quickly as she could. 

For what felt like hours, she hobbled down those long corridors, her steps gradually growing stronger. Most of the rooms she passed were locked, the few that weren’t were empty. It was like everyone in this place had just… vanished. 

Everyone but her.

But despite the lack of life, she was unable to shake the feeling that someone was watching her. Like she was being _followed_. 

She couldn’t help the glance she cast over her shoulder then, at the darkness ever looming not far behind.

As she came to a corner, the door to her right _woosh_ ed open and she halted mid-step, gazing at it curiously. Moving a little closer, she peered inside the small room and saw several narrow compartments lining one of the walls while a row of benches lined the opposite. It was some sort of locker room.

Pursing her lips, she glanced down at the ruined shift she wore. If she was going to go wondering about, she could use some decent clothes. And really, anything would be better than this sorry excuse for a gown. 

So she wondered inside, checking each compartment that she passed in search of anything that she might be able to wear.

Most of the lockers were empty, but she managed to find a plain black shirt and some leggings that looked to be her size. Some socks and a pair of boots. And hanging in one of the compartments, she found some kind of uniform: a form-fitting, charcoal and ashy black bodysuit made of some strange fabric. 

Removing the shift, she quickly tugged on the shirt and leggings. They fit her well but the uniform was a bit loose in places, obviously having been meant for someone a bit larger than herself. But it was comfortable and easy to move in, and it was warm. And there seemed to be some built-in reinforcement along the arms and legs of the suit, for when she stood after pulling on her boots, her still-wobbly legs felt much steadier. 

She carefully made her way back over to the door and peeked outside, checking to make sure the coast was clear. They hallways were still empty, save for that unnerving darkness, so she stepped back out into the hall and continued onward. Urged on by that same tugging in her chest.

More time passed, and after a while, she noticed that her surroundings had begun to change. The sleekness of the halls became more boxy, squatter and wider, all rigid angles and sharp corners. The floor changed to metal grille that echoed hollowly beneath her boots, the sound resonating off the dull plated walls. 

Even the lighting overhead became dimmer, and a quick glance behind revealed that those shadows had grown uncomfortably closer. 

Older. These hallways looked and felt older. 

And for some reason she couldn’t shake the strange feeling creeping along the back of her mind that she had walked these very halls before. 

The thought had scarcely taken shape within her consciousness when she felt something _pinch_ inside her head. A sharp, quick _jab_. She flinched back, her eyes screwing shut at the sudden pain. 

And an image flashed inside the darkness behind her eyes. 

Flames and smoke and teeth and claws. Green eyes and silver hair. And red. _So much red_. A blinding pain slashed through her body, across her neck and along her spine, as if she were being shredded apart. But it was nothing compared to the unbearable ache within her chest.

She gasped aloud, stumbling out of the vision. Her shoulder barked in protest as she collided with the wall, but she hardly felt it over the phantom ache echoing though her bones, her blood. 

_Wh-What the hell was that_? She placed a shaky hand over her chest, as if that would calm the racing of her heart and quell the hollowness she felt there. Had that been a memory? A premonition or a… A dream?

She could feel something lingering there, along the furthest fringes of her mind. The answer to that question, dangling like frayed threads, waiting to be grasped and pulled to draw the image back together in her head.

But before she had a chance to reach for them, before she had a chance to do _anything_ … the world exploded.


End file.
